Hope

Ms Hyde

I just posted an article about a study of drinkers on our News Page where the researchers grouped the respondents into four categories that consisted of The Hemingway, Mary Poppins, The Nutty Professor and Mr. Hyde.

https://soberedup.com/when-people-act-differently-under-the-influence-it-could-be-a-sign-of-an-alcohol-problem/

The category that I can relate to the best is the fourth grouping, Mr. Hyde. In this category, they talked about the “Mean Drunk” and how Members of the Mr. Hyde cluster experienced the most difficulties related to their drinking habits, followed by the Hemingways, who behave roughly the same drunk as they do sober. Interestingly, the Mr. Hyde group had the most women in it.

This class was “Named for the sinister alter-ego of Dr. Jekyll, these people reported big decreases in conscientiousness, intellect, and agreeableness when they are intoxicated. They reported a tendency of being particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol than they are when they are sober, as well as relative to members of the other groups.”

When I drink I have a particularly nasty disposition and quickly become Ms. Hyde. I do not resemble normal self at all and saying that I become “disagreeable” is a major understatement. I become short-tempered, extremely rude and downright mean. I will let you know what I think about you and your life whether you ask for my opinion or not. As a matter of fact, letting people know what I think of them, in an abrupt and rude way seems to be one of my favorite pastimes while drinking. Perhaps caused by an extremely limited drunken brain. Oh, the good ‘ol days…

When I sobered up, my normal state had become irritable, restless and discontented for so long, that it was difficult for me to let myself be anything else. I would catch myself being angry for no reason at all. I began to keep a funny looking doll with me that made very amusing noises when I squeezed it to remind me that it was ok to laugh and be happy.

I do not miss that part of me one bit, although even in sobriety I can be irritable, my demeanor in no way resembles Ms Hyde. Today I do laugh, a lot and I am Happy!